They keep trying to remake The Wicker Man, and each one is worse. I see that Laura has already scooped me here, but I, too, spent the afternoon (with good Pagan Buds Gary, Cory, Delphi, and Luckylicious, who hosts the Eat My Pagan Ass podcast) enjoying the merry delights of The Wicker Tree, the newest version of the fascinating (and comparatively subtle) cult-classic The Wicker Man. Our unanimous agreement- this is one really bad movie (I think we are already looking at the “Worst Pagan Film” of 2012). I suppose that Pagans could waste time being offended by it (cause it’s pretty offensive to Pagans; just consider that the advert next to you consists of an Upside-Down Pentacle [Emblem of Evil] incorporated with a Celtic Sun-Symbol), but it’s also offensive to Christian Fundamentalists, to actors (who had to perform in it), and frankly, to Scots people.
It’s ridiculous premise is that two Evangelical Christian Young Redeemers are going to preach Jesus: to the Lost Souls of “Heathen Scotland.” Yes, that’s right- Scotland: that Heathen country. (This is the type of movie that shows an establishing shot of Scotland, with a title identifying “Scotland, on the Border of England.” My friend Lucky, who is really fun to see bad movies with, goes- Oh, good, cause otherwise I wouldn’t have known where Scotland is.) This leads to a really funny montage (well, I thought so, cause I started cracking up during it) of “doors slamming in the Christian Fundamentalists faces as they try to distribute Jesus literature to the Scots.”
Out of frustration with their failures to Evangelize these Heathen City-Scots, the earnest young Christian missionaries accept the offer of a sinister looking Anton LaVey character and his purring-villainess wife- to come preach the Gospel to the receptive audience that they will find at this charming little out-of-the-way hamlet.
Well, if you know The Wicker Man at all, you will know what happens next- or what you think will happen next: only they so-totally don’t commit to the obvious ending- which is to just set these two annoyingly self-righteous, condescending Christian Evangelicals on fire in the Wicker Man. (The earnest Young Redeemer girl is so aggravating a personality, you keep wanting to see her get set on fire; I have to admit, my friends and I all agreed that it was a severe disappointment not to see this girl get torched in The Wicker Man. What can I say, we’re a sick, twisted group.)
The young guy, we all agree, is insanely hot and we all want to date him. An interesting thing is that the Brits actors all seem to recognize that they’re in a Really Bad Movie and compensate for the inanity by camped-up performances; the Americans try to play it straight- and drown in the process.
This is the type of movie that plays up Paganism for its Shock-Values (therefore it properly is offensive; at one especially lurid point, Lucky goes, in ironic counterpoint: Just like Starwood). But it’s so stupid that it’s a waste of time being pissed off by it. On the other hand, it’s a hoot to see with Pagan Buds.
I am actually relieved that you found it as horrid as I did. I was seriously hopeing that there wasn’t just something wrong with me.
I didn’t think it was THAT bad, but it can’t hold a candle – much less a flaming effigy – to the original.
“Scotland, on the Border of England” is simply telling you that the story takes place in the very south of Scotland, very close to the border. Like, as opposed to anywhere further north.
I can’t think of any film whose follow-up has given me anything but disappointment, so I’m not even going to go see this one.
[...] http://culture.pagannewswirecollective.com/2012/01/the-wicker-tree-what-a-bad-movie/ Another review of “The Wicker Tree” states “What a bad movie!” [...]
[...] following two movies about Pagans: The Wicker Tree, reviewed here at the Juggler by Laura, and by myself, and The Wicker Man (the 2006 version with Nicolas Cage). Never mind the original Wicker Man, which [...]