The Worst Pagan Movies of 2011

 culture, film  8 Responses »
Dec 292011
 

Here are my nominations for the Two Worst Pagan Movies of 2011, one of which arrived rather late in the year, while the other was released just a scant few days after New Year’s last January- delightfully rendering it acceptable fodder for another round of dogging.

There appears to be a tendency, in making Classical Mythology films, to treat the Mythology as a jumping-off point for basically a gigantic Super-Hero movie- as, for instance, the 2010 remake of the 1980s’ Clash of the Titans, soon to be revisited as Clash of the Titans II: Wrath of the Titans. There is a certain reasonableness to this, as in many ways, Perseus, say, probably counts as among the first Super-Heroes. Then there is a tendency to interpret “Pagan” in terms of “barbaric”: again, reasonable enough, one supposes, in certain circumstances, as Back-in-the-Day Pagans could apparently be kind of violent upon occasion. The thing is, this tendency leads to sessions of severely over-the-top Violence-Porn. In a Good Pagan movie such as Centurion, this can interestingly add up to a powerful “anti-War/ anti-Violence” message (Centurion is as anti-War in its way as Apocalypse Now or All Quiet on the Western Front- but in the Pagan context of Roman legions in Britain). In a Bad Pagan movie, such as 2010′s Valhalla Rising, which doesn’t really have much point to it beyond grotesque violence and gore, one is just left with the queasy after-impression of a very unpleasant film.

Both of these tendencies came together in an unfortunate way in 2011′s Immortals, which (among other things, as many Jugglers have pointed out) does not actually have very much “Immortals” in it (and They kind of function as Celestial Super-Heroes when They do show up). Otherwise this movie, ostensibly set in Classical Greece, with figures such as Theseus and the Olympic Deities, does not conform to any region or age of Greece recognizable, and tends to get lost in Mickey Rourke’s performance as the psychotic King Hyperion. The film keeps trying to “up” itself by ramping up the psycho-level of Rourke’s character, and while Mr. Rourke can play psycho as well as anyone working these days, it just turns kind of campy and stupid and obnoxiously disagreeable after awhile- and when the Gods (the “Immortals” promised in the title) do show, it is in a superficial and over-the-top manner; not enough to save this sour mess of a dank flick.

On the other hand, Immortals does have a lead actor (Mr. Henry Cavill, slated to become the newest Superman in 2013), who does a fine job of delivering a leading performance as Theseus- something sorely lacking from my personal choice of Worst Pagan Movie of the Year.

The central image of Nicolas Cage’s Season of the Witch (released early in January) is of a clunky iron cage, on top of a lumbering wagon and carried (on a twisted sort of Quest-Journey) along perilously narrow Alpine trails,to a distant abbey- where the monks can “examine” a suspected Witch. The unwieldy vehicle with its transient prison makes an admirable metaphor for this movie, with its increasingly ridiculous plot and lead-weight of a lead performance.

Despite an effective opening that neatly demonstrates (in like four minutes) the Burning Times as Religious Criminality against women, the movie is ridiculously anti-Witch in its viewpoint, to a degree that finally endorses the Catholic Church and Fundamentalist Christianity’s assertion that the merest association with Witchcraft allows the Forces of Satan loose in one’s life. (The Suspected Witch- a kind of Terrorist to Christendom- is the prisoner carried in the cage; her- literally, as we come to find out- diabolical Powers are so great, a small armed band led by two ex-Crusaders, are necessary to transport her.) One could read this as a fascinating parable about Life in the Age of Terror (with its presumed challenges to the Civil Liberties of Witches; in fact, this formed the basis for the Burning Times persecutions, that the perils to Christianity from Devil-Worshipping Witches were so extreme, normal legal precautions and protections needed to be put aside and things such as “enhanced interrogation techniques”- torture- employed.)

As I say, one could read it this way: or one could end the movie by basically making it The Exorcist In the Dark Ages- which is what this movie does.

What saves the movie from being truly offensive is that it is so campily bad, and a huge degree of responsibility for that goes to Mr. Cage’s dead-eyed and wooden performance. Looking as if he could just barely be bothered to get out of bed and onto the set, he sinks this movie in every scene.

If you want a GOOD example of a movie depicting fanatical medieval Christians moving against a suspected society of Witches (who look kind of like land-worshipping Pagans, by the way): check out Black Death. Unlike Season of the Witch, it is worthwhile.

Pagan Movie Break-Down

 culture, film  No Responses »
Apr 012011
 

With the Juggler closing in on its first year anniversary, it is remarkable to reflect that there have been (in that time) a surprising number of examples of what might be termed “Pagan” movies- enough to suggest that the Zeitgeist is in the process of assembling the New Thing: the Pagan Movie Genre.

When we consider that the previous year has seen: Agora; Centurion; Valhalla Rising; Season of the Witch (the Nicolas Cage one); The Eagle; and Black Death- that is roughly one “Pagan” movie per every two months. All of these movies are interesting in that they use Pagans to explore scenes of social/ cultural conflict.

A notable movie of last summer was the blockbuster Avatar, which utilized Alien Cat-People as a metaphor for the Earth-Worshipping (or Native-Planet-Worshipping); Nature (within the environment)-Oriented; Spiritually-Interconnected beings otherwise pegged as “Pagans” in the aforesaid films. Like The Eagle and Centurion, Avatar depicts an imperialistic, martial culture forcibly impinging upon peaceful, planet-nature-worshipping spiritualists: in both The Eagle and Centurion, these war-like, aggressive forces are as Pagan (Roman) as the Celtic Pagans whom they attempt to subject. For being more “Earth-oriented” than the Romans, the Celts in these two movies come across as being more authentically “Pagan”; the Celtic Pagans in both films are identified moreover as proud freedom-fighters, defending liberty and home against invading and hostile troops.

Four of these films project danger and threat onto “Pagans” (in two cases, “Witches”) from fanatical Christian-Believers: Agora; Valhalla Rising; Season of the Witch; and Black Death. Agora depicts the essentiall Fall of Paganism to Christianity, as fanatical Christians impose their authoritative control over Alexandria; Valhalla Rising (well, Valhalla Rising is such a weirdly obtuse movie, it is difficult finally to say what it is about, but well)- it has Pagan Vikings and Christian Vikings, and they go to America in longboats, and the Christian Vikings are Fanatics and envision a Christian Triumphalist America (which is kind of what happened), and then they all die at the hands of Natives.

I guess the point is (Valhalla Rising is the kind of movie where it’s hard to say finally, what the point is)- it has Pagan Vikings and Christian Fanatics in it.

Season of the Witch and Black Death posit fanatical Christianity as a threat to women identified as Witches. Black Death is the way-better movie, depicting ruthless Churchmen targeting Celtic herbal-healing wise-women as demon-worshipping Witches; Season of the Witch shows a demonically-possessed Witch imprisoned and transported for trial by authoritative Crusaders. Both films very clearly emphasize the misogynistic qualities of the Burning Times, presenting cruel monks and priests torturing confessions out of terrified (female) victims.

With the execption of Agora, all of these films serve as “Quest-Adventures.”

Casting the eye over these movies, one can argue that the emergent Pagan Movie Genre will feature: an overwhelmingly “Journey-Quest” theme; as well a tendency to posit “Pagans” as Land-Identified, Nature-Spirituality peoples, often considered the valiant underdogs and defenders of liberty; Christians tend to be seen as tyrannical, extremist sorts, inclined towards torture and brutality.

Ranking these movies from Good to Bad: I would call Agora and Avatar (A+) efforts; Black Death and Centurion (B+) works; The Eagle a sometimes drifting (C+); Valhalla Rising one of the most bizarre and incomprehensible movies that I have ever seen; Season of the Witch would still be a bad movie, but would have been improved a thousand times over if it’s lead actor looked like he could have been bothered to deliver a performance.

(Film Review): Black Death

 culture, film  No Responses »
Mar 122011
 

 Movies-with-Witches in them appear popular right now: last week saw Beastly featuring a Goth Witch; the newly released Red Riding Hood apparently incorporates a “proto-Hippie Witch”; and the new Black Death centers around an enigmatic Celtic Priestess/ Herbal Healer Witch. Set in the 14th century against an outbreak of the Black Plague, the film is concerned with the extremist tendencies of religious fanaticism (both of the Christian and the Pagan variety). Amidst strikingly rendered scenes of virulent pestilence, a band of knights and torturers is directed by the local bishop to investigate a village rumored to be immune from the Plague- an immunity granted (it is said) through the Necromantic Skills of a Witch. Being medieval Christian fanatics, they determine that this Witch must harbor the Demon that is spreading the Black Death; their devout Christian duty is (of course) to apprehend this Witch; imprison her within their Witch-Restraining Torture Device; and bring her back to the monastery to be broken into a confession.

The movie is very well-done, a superior example of this type of Pagan Film genre. When at last they arrive at the mysterious village, I got a kick out of how Pagan Festival it all looked. The Witch is a complicated woman, played by an actress of ethereal beauty and majestic command (you can finally read the whole movie as, a Celtic Goddess came to live with them for awhile). As it comes about, the villagers (who have long-ago abandoned their church, as the knights note, and live a lifestyle that looks Pagan all over the place) have certain issues with Christianity, which the Witch charges with 1300 years of “control and intimidation.”

The film is set up as a confrontation between the Controlling, Intimidating, Witch-Hunting medieval Church and those who keep to the Pagan Ways (but who also can prove as brutal in their grievances, as the Christians do in their judgementalism). What I find most notable about the movie is its presentation of the Witch-Hunts as crimes of violent irrationality, stimulated through calamities and misfortunes, and perpetuated through the harsh ”devotion” of Churchmen, who brutally torture women into confessions of demon-worshipping Witchcraft.